I have seen in the Chinese social media that many Chinese male youth are ashamed to show the soft toy on the bedside to outsiders, because they think it is a companion toy only for girls, so that boys are not allowed to collect them. I opened Zhihu, a Chinese question-and-answer app, and searched for the entry that boys like plush toys, and found that more people are asking for help whether these boys have mental illnesses, like whether it is a fetish, etc. I was shocked and even depressed by people’s judgments and tried to change this stereotype.
My research is focusing on Chinese market. Along with thousands of years’ Confucian education, Chinese men are endowed with underlying stereotypes: restrained, powerful, brave and tenacious. These so-called Masculinity are deeply imprinted on their subconsciousness, that they feel it difficult to expose emotional side. Therefore, soft toys are considered a secret emotional exit—They stay quietly besides, soothing the males’ soft side with companionship and listening.
In order to truly understand how Chinese young men feel on collecting plush toys, I did an anonymous questionnaire: the data was collected from 20 Chinese boys aged 20-25.
Five questions were asked in the survey:
- How many soft toys accompany you in your daily life? This is for knowing young male’s need on soft toys.
- Would you hide their origins (falsely claiming that they were given by others or not yourself) or even dared to let your friends see these softies? This question is based on the social phenomenon above that I am impressed with.
- In what way do they accompany you? This is a multiple choice question, to know what those toys normally engaged in their daily life.
- What emotional state are you usually in when you need their company? This is a reverse question knowing how men feel when they need accompany, e.g. excited, stable or frustrated, etc.
- Do you think their company eases your inner emotional needs? This is a short answer question, and I received some interesting comments from the investigators
According to data results, around half of young men in China have at least one soft toys with them, and almost half of those softies collectors choose to hide plush toys because of shamefulness. The function of the softies are mostly “quiet accompany”, and then “listening”. Some of the men collectors are fond of simulating dialogue between toys—this can be seen as fulfilling social need. Moreover, results show that men need soft toys when they are both emotionally stable and depressed—This also verifies the results of the previous question: Men need more companionship and listening.
Comments from those male investigators are valuable as well:
— “I regard them as my tree hole, and their listening and company gives me a lot of security.”
— ” …it’s a stand-in for my puppy, a family role to me.”
— “They made me feel needed and it was my responsibility to protect them.”
Men’s desire for protection and responsibility are fully reflected in the plush toys. Simultaneously, they also gain emotional comfort from soft toys.
To conclude, soft toys have no gender undertones, they deserve to be treasured by people of all genders and ages. Men are able to have an emotionally soft side, just like women sometimes act masculinary. We’re not only talking about a stuffed toy, but a kind of social gender equality. While our society highlights the equality of women, the inner needs of men also need to be cared for. Chinese society has a fairly high demand for men’s external abilities, because men generally need to take on more responsibilities to earn money and support their families, but paying little attention to men’s emotional needs.
I hope that Chinese society will be more tolerant of men’s emotional needs, so that men can truly face up to their inner sides. I call on reputable toy brands and psychology experts to organize a joint event for men who like plush toys, to build a healthy social masculinity, to look for social empathy on men, by sharing their stories with soft toys accompany.
4/25 Further Research questions:
Investigate some man support psychologist/sociologist/groups, asking what masculinity can be/ what soft toys can do to help them gain emotional needs? What other ways do men gain emotional support other than soft toys? Why some men choose soft toys instead of other ways to ease their mood?
Men can obtain emotional support through religious or spiritual sources, community activities, or even your pets.
From psychological tutor in Men support group
…People show emotional support for others by offering genuine encouragement, reassurance, and compassion—These features strongly appear in soft toys.”
Quick Questions with boys aged from 14-17:
- Do you have stuffed animals in your bedroom？
- Why/Why not do you have them? （Self collecting, a gift from others…）
- If you like them, do you think their accompany partly fulfill your emotional needs or ease your bad mood?
- Would you be ashamed if guests come and see them in your bedroom?
- Do you think collecting soft toys is not suitable for men? Do you think it offend your masculinity?
Research direction: Male’s growing experience/education
Regarding the stereotype of society’s masculinity, such as being strong, brave, not weak, etc., is it instilled invisibly from the childhood education of boys? Could this be the reason why they need/don’t need soft toys?